A dalek and a pirate walked into a bar.
The bartender said, "Why do you have a dalek with you?"
The dalek said, "EX! TER! MIN! ATE! EX! TER! MIN! ATE!" and incinerated the bartender.
The pirate turned to the dalek and said, "Arrrr, I told ye before, ye clattering pile of tin, get the grog first, THEN exterminate!"
The dalek replied, "I! OBEY!" Then it blew up.
Actually, it doesn't end there, because doctroid complained that the joke needed more obelisk, so I revised it as follows.
A pirate, a dalek, and a lawyer walk into a bar. Behind the bar, instead of a bartender, there's a giant black obelisk.
The lawyer walks up to the bar and touches the obelisk. In short order he's evolved to become a super star lawyer baby and goes off to start lawsuits on Europa, his briefcase spinning slowly in the air as the band plays 'Waltzing Mathilda'.
The pirate, impressed by this, goes up to the bar too, but after a moment he returns looking dejected.
The dalek says, "MUST! ASK! WHY! OBELISK! DID! NOT! ACCELLERATE! EVOLUTION! OF! THE! PIRATE!"
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I wanted to, but I couldn't touch the obelisk."
The dalek replies, "WHY! NOT! ANSWER! ME! ANSWER! ME! OR! YOU! WILL! BE! EX! TER! MIN! ATE! ED! ANSWER! ANSWER!"
The pirate responds, "It's these stupid hooks, ye tin-plated lubber swab!"
Then the dalek vaporized him.
I have no memory of writing either of these.