Jacob Haller (jwgh) wrote,
Jacob Haller
jwgh

  • Music:

Yo' god so false

This particular brand of joke seems to have been invented by Ranjit Bhatnagar.

Here are the ones I came up with. Write your own!

Yo' god so false, he can't even create a rock he can lift!

Yo' god so false, his worshippers go to Atlantic City when they die!

Yo' god so false, his first commandment is, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me, unless you really feel like it,", his second commandment is, "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, but painted velvet is O.K.", and his tenth commandment is, "Verily, this commandment stuff is thirsty work. Go and get your deity a beer, OK?"

Yo' god so false, his pope drive around in a Yugo!

Yo' god so false, when he commands the seas to part he hafta say "please"!

Yo' god so false, when people pray to be healed, he give 'em two aspirin and tell 'em to call him in the morning!

Yo' god so false, he need some matches and a tape recorder to speak from a burning bush!

Yo' god so false, people be leavin' his church in droves as the secularization of society increases following the industrial revolution!

Yo' god so false, he have trouble parting someone's hair!

Yo' god so false, he think 'omniscient' means what that magazine smell like!

Yo' god so false, people rather worship a golden calf!

Here are the ones Ranjit wrote:

Yo' god so false, when you pray, you get a busy signal!

Yo' god so false, Pascal be wagerin' AGAINST him!

Yo' diety so low, he need a stool to pray to himself!

Eb Oesch wrote a few also:
Yo' god so false, when you die, you see a bright light that say "Under construction!"

Yo' god so weak, he appear in a vision and say, "You want fries with that?"

Yo' god so sick, he turn water into Thunderbird!

Yo' scriptures is a pop-up book!

Tags: joke, religion, writing
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 10 comments