January 27th, 2005


The long dark teatime (http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=rabbitholeday)

Still a basic feeling of nonexistence -- I try to judge the temperature of my surroundings but come up empty. I guess this isn't so surprising since I think neither my surroundings nor my body exists.

Hmmm, this appears to be evidence of the independent existence of the soul. Who knew?
  • Current Music
    Static Machine - Mono Puff (in my head)
  • Tags
bunny ears

Background (http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=rabbitholeday)

Still plenty of nothing. A little dull, but I feel oddly emotionless -- I guess glands and hormones and things have a lot to do with what I would normally consider my mental state. Does that sentence even make sense? Oh, well.

I guess I may as well record how I got here. Not much to tell -- I woke up this morning (well, some morning -- not sure how the concepts apply any more) and was taking a shower when I suddenly felt the Universe collapsing in on me. I don't remember a lot about it -- it happened too fast for me to really tell what was going on -- but there was a sense of everything simultaneously shrinking and becoming less substantial. Then, quite literally, nothing.

I guess I could be in a hospital somewhere unconscious right now, but that doesn't feel right. I've never had a dream like this as far as I can remember. Although I have had some pretty dull dreams in my time. Anyway, this experience seems completely new.
  • Current Music
    Under the Ashes - Lucinda Williams (in my head)
  • Tags

Livejournal in a bottle (http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=rabbitholeday)

Maybe since there's no longer an external world to interact with I should be focusing on my interor life. That seems kind of solipsistic, though. On the other hand, how can I be sure that I'm not the only consciousness around?

It seems unlikely that when the Universe ended I was the only 'survivor', so I'd think that other 'people' (or other instances of whatever I am right now) have got to be out there. Is someone reading this? Unfortunately this Livejournal link seems to be one-way from my perspective; I'm not even sure it really exists.

Doubting my own existence seems kind of dumb, though, so I guess Descartes was on to something.
  • Current Music
    Watch The Birdie - The Bobs (in my head)
  • Tags

I contain multitudes (http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=rabbitholeday)

Hmmm, it seems like my improved mathematical abilities (or maybe I can just concentrate on things in a more sustained way? Hard to tell the difference at this point) come with improved visualization abilities. I've never been that visual, I think because of my crummy vision; now that I don't have physical eyes my inner eyes seem to be a lot sharper. I can concentrate on a bunch of different things at the same time, too, without losing focus on any one of them. This could come in handy if there were anything I could actually physically do.
  • Current Music
    Brilliant Corners - Spike Jones (in my head)
  • Tags

That's how it's played (http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=rabbitholeday)

Hmmm, this game is actually sort of interesting; I can simulate different cosmological models in my head! It's not that hard, really -- start out with some rules and interesting initial conditions, and see what you get! The tricky part is keeping track of all the individual pieces, and the fun part is seeing what larger patterns emerge from the randomness. Cool!
  • Current Music
    Office Supplies - They Might Be Giants (in my head)
  • Tags
accordion santa

Well, that's about it

for Rabbit Hole Day for me. Hopefully my posts today kept your interest. If you haven't seen them yet but want to read them you're probably better off reading them off of http://www.livejournal.com/users/jwgh/2005/01/27/ since there they will be in chronological order, with the the oldest messages at the top, and that will probably make more sense than if you read them most recent to oldest.

I think that rabbit hole day has so far been very successful and I congratulate crisper for having the idea for it. I'm enjoying the other posts in this vein by folks on my friends list. Thanks to you all too!

If you want to read more posts by other people, a lot of people have linked to them in the tail end of the discussion in Crisper's original announcement. Also, I set up the rabbitholeday community for people to link to their posts in, although it doesn't really appear to catch on.