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April 10th, 2005

accordion santa

Jokes that I wrote that I no longer understand

I apparently wrote this for kerri9494 in April of 2004. Does anyone remember why?
A dalek and a pirate walked into a bar.

The bartender said, "Why do you have a dalek with you?"

The dalek said, "EX! TER! MIN! ATE! EX! TER! MIN! ATE!" and incinerated the bartender.

The pirate turned to the dalek and said, "Arrrr, I told ye before, ye clattering pile of tin, get the grog first, THEN exterminate!"

The dalek replied, "I! OBEY!"  Then it blew up.

The end.
Actually, it doesn't end there, because doctroid complained that the joke needed more obelisk, so I revised it as follows.
A pirate, a dalek, and a lawyer walk into a bar.  Behind the bar, instead of a bartender, there's a giant black obelisk.

The lawyer walks up to the bar and touches the obelisk.  In short order he's evolved to become a super star lawyer baby and goes off to start lawsuits on Europa, his briefcase spinning slowly in the air as the band plays 'Waltzing Mathilda'.

The pirate, impressed by this, goes up to the bar too, but after a moment he returns looking dejected.

The dalek says, "MUST! ASK! WHY! OBELISK! DID! NOT! ACCELLERATE! EVOLUTION! OF! THE! PIRATE!"

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I wanted to, but I couldn't touch the obelisk."

The dalek replies, "WHY! NOT! ANSWER! ME! ANSWER! ME! OR! YOU! WILL! BE! EX! TER! MIN! ATE! ED! ANSWER! ANSWER!"

The pirate responds, "It's these stupid hooks, ye tin-plated lubber swab!"

Then the dalek vaporized him.
I have no memory of writing either of these.
yarn

A couple of small knitting projects

Here's a picture of a couple of small projects I've made this past week. (Each took two or three days to make.)



The item on the left is a little knit bag that I made out of some leftover Noro. I made it to hold some guitar accouterments: guitar picks, a slide, and a capo.

It was a bit of a stunt; normally I would do something like that on double-pointed needles, or I'd make a rectangle and sew it together (less likely), but in this case I make it on two needles using a slip-stitch method that I sort of improvised for no good reason.

I like how it came out, though, so I may make more if I can't think of anything better to knit.

On the right is a sort of knit basket that I started making basically so I would have something to work on at snbprov last week. It's made out of some recycled yarn that I got from spinningbee at a yarn swap; I'm not sure what it is made out of, but I think it's some sort of fancy wool.

It came out a little floppy and the bottom was not very flat so I decided to try to felt it in order to firm it up and make its flaws less distinctive. I think the yarn will felt up eventually but it looks like it will take a fair amount of processing to do it -- right now, after a fair number of washings, it's maybe half-felted at best.

The seven millions washings it's gone through already have sure washed out a lot of the dye, though!

Here's a picture of the basket (or whatever it is) from before it went in the washer.



At this point I'm not sure what to try next, but I will probably come up with something by Thursday.
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