Jacob Haller (jwgh) wrote,
Jacob Haller
jwgh

things I wrote a couple of years ago

back when I wrote things like this.

Anyway, let's see.


Here's something I wrote in response to a message titled 'What you have to believe to be a Republican today'.
Jacob Haller    Grade 6   Civics   Mrs. Futplex-Beable
ASSIGNMENT: Write a 100 to 150 word essay on what you have to believe to be a Republican today.

What you have to believe to be a Republican today

This is my essay on what you have to believe to be a Republican today. It is written by me and is my essay.

In order to be a Republican today you must believe many things. Otherwise you cannot be a Republican. You would have to be something else. That is the nature of Republicanism in America today.

One of the things you must believe to be a Republican is that the Republican party is better than the Democratic party. Otherwise, you would probably be a Democrat. I hope this is clear. This is just one of the many things you must believe if you wish to be a Republican.

To sum up, there are many things, such as belief in the superiority of the Republican party when compared to the Democratic party, that you must believe in order to be a Republican today.

-jwgh


Now we leave the realm of political commentary (?) and enter the realm of lame physics puns. Someone asked: "Can a vibrating conductor be described as 'motorized'?" and I responded with the following little story:
Alfred Einstein, inventor of the light bulb, once suggested the following thought experiment:

Imagine a train moving at a substantial fraction of the speed of light. Two conductors at each end of the train are looking at each other. In the middle of the train, a passenger is acting inappropriately.

The two conductors rush towards the passenger, who is located exactly between them. In their frame of reference, they both reach the passenger at the same time, start remonstrating with him, then start arguing with each other about who's in charge, and ultimately they end up knocking the passenger out of the train to his death.

In the frame of reference of the ground outside, however, the image of the misbehaving passenger reached the conductor at the front of the train first, with the result that that conductor would have reached the passenger first and would be solely responsable for his subsequent violent departure from the train and from the Earth.

Of course this is of great import to the legal system in deciding who to prosecute. Should one of the conductors be sent to the chair, or should both? Furthermore, what happens if they both survive the execution attempt? The implications are staggering.

I should note that of course these questions only arise if the railroad employees in question are by nature bad conductors.

Anyway, it is through thought experiments like this that Alfred Einstein made his great discoveries. Truly an inspiring life story.

-jwgh

Tags: writing
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