Last night, at 1 am, in the parking lot of Nick-a-Nees, I overheard part of a discussion about what that object is. I thought both sides made interesting points, so I thought I'd see what you all thought.
What is that thing, anyway?
It's a goddamn pineapple.
It's a pinecone. (People SAY it's a pineapple, but where are we, fukken Hawaii?)
You're both crazy. I'll tell you what it REALLY is in a comment.
(I include the third option for completeness.)