Jacob Haller (jwgh) wrote,
Jacob Haller

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100-word stories

A while ago I asked people to provide a title and a line of dialogue for a short story. In return, I would try to write a 100-line or 500-line story using both.

A bunch of people responded and I did the first three fairly quickly, then was busy with other stuff. But I didn't forget about it, and tonight I completed a fourth. There are three left, which I will try to get to sometime.

They don't have any great merit, but they were fun to write and, I hope, fun to read. Anyway, here are the ones I've got so far. If anyone wants to suggest any new titles/lines of dialogue feel free to respond here or in the original thread.


"What happened?"

"They just swarmed out of there. I've never seen anything like it!"

"What's the damage?"

"Well, they took all the sugar from the mess hall --"

"A little sugar? So what?"

"More than a little -- three fifty-pound bags! I don't know how --"

"What else did they carry out, Lieutenant?"

"Nothing from the base, but they ransacked a perfume store in town."


"Pretty minor, actually, apart from Johnson. He's allergic to stings, you know."

"Any word from the scientists on how they escaped?"

"Feh. Scientists. According to them, they shouldn't be able to fly in the first place."

(Title and line of dialogue by dawn_guy

The False Nun

The black-clad figure enters discreetly through a back door and steps quietly through the abattoir, stopping occasionally to collect a choice piece of offal.

Suddenly, the police enter, guns at the ready. One shouts: "Drop the rectum or I'll shoot you in the face."

The figure freezes, then runs, dodging quickly. A shot rings out and the figure folds in on itself. The cop's partner runs over, pulls off the figure's mask, swears.

"Jesus, Joe, you almost killed 'im. How'd you know it wasn't a real sister?" Joe looks at his partner in disgust. "Nuns don't wear tuxedos, idiot."

(Title and line of dialogue by crisper

How much saliva?

"So what did he say next?" I asked.

"'Did you know that a cow produces 60 litres of saliva per day?' the Pope asked Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi.'

"Is that true?"

"Which, that he said it or that the Pope asked that or that a cow secretes that much saliva?"

"Any of 'em. All of 'em."

"No and yes."

I paused and thought this over. Finally, I decided to go for broke. "Hey, so what kind of a stupid logic puzzle is this, anyway?"

The knave considered this carefully, then responded crisply: "A purple one. With green polkadots."

(Title and line of dialogue by fabio_heinz

The Spice of Discovery

The ship was hit. The stench of garlic filled the engine room.

The lead engineer's communicator beeped. "Damage report?"

"The containment field for the 6-Nonenamide,(E)-N-[4-Hydroxy-3-methoxy -phenyl)methyl]-8-methyl[404-86-4]E)-8-Methyl-N-vanillyl-6 nonenamide crystals is breaking down. I'll have to patch things up, but it should be done in twenty minutes."

The engineer turned to her assistant. "Preheat the containment unit to 505 Kelvin, and we'll need some prime pullets stat."

"Yes, sir. Anything else?"

The engineer paused, then: "Ginger Pepper on any chicken dish is sensational."

(Title and line of dialogue by sunburn

Tags: writing

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